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I would add that I had some difficulty attributing dialogue at the beginning of the story. <br /><br />My opinion diverges from Bet's on the issue of knowing what kind of story we are in for. I assume it could be horror or perhaps a paranormal thriller. However, I don't have a clear idea of what the set-up is. I don't think the dialogue is as "hooky" as another possibile start that gets to the meat of the story (so to speak). Something like: "Terry didn't think much of the rumor--until she found the first body."<br /><br />Thanks for sending this in!David E. Hugheshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15562347731539228314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33599441.post-48830596110603261372009-12-14T10:06:31.293-07:002009-12-14T10:06:31.293-07:00Thanks for playing author; we really appreciate it...Thanks for playing author; we really appreciate it! Amazingly (pardon the adverb) I agree with everything Editor Betsy said--except maybe the stuff about the pony. :)<br />Additionally (oops, there's another one) I have a bit of pet peeve when characters are described via hair color. Is that really her most important quality?<br />Overall, this is quite promising; I would read more. <br />Good luck with this!lesleylsmithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14872977902924014581noreply@blogger.com