I've been reading through the stories submitted to Electric Spec. Thanks for sending them in!
I have a few words of advice: don't start your story with a telephone call or with the protagonist waking up. Both of these have been done to death. I also think this is often too early in the story. You should always start the story as late as possible.
Another problem with the telephone call is usually it causes the protagonist to react, rather than act. If your character isn't driving the story, maybe he/she/it is NOT actually your protagonist.