In the story in question, the opening paragraph was cute but it wasn't really related to anything else in the story. Most readers expect the beginning of the story to set up, or get the reader ready for, the rest of the story. As an example of what not-to-do, I have a story that starts with the protag's rant against her ex-husband. But as my critique partners pointed out, the relationship with the ex is not what the story is about--so it shouldn't start there. This is related to the common problem that stories usually start later than authors think they do. So, in your story: look at where it ends up. What is this story about? Now go look at the opening: is the setup there? My bad story is actually about the protag's relationship with her daughter, thus I need to edit the opening to set it up for the reader that it's about the daughter. As it stands, a page or two later, I do get to the daughter, so I probably need to cut that first page or two. Should you cut your existing opening?
The main problem with the story in question was it fizzled out at the end. I read faithfully for over four thousand words and ...blah. The protag basically achieved her heart's desire (good!) but it was by accident AND there was no satisfying character reaction. One definition of payoff is it is the climax of a story, the scene that satisfies the reader's emotions and/or intellect as it wraps up the story plot(s). It often falls at the very end of the story. Take a look at the last page of your story: is it satisfying for the reader? If not, how can you make it sastifying?
Good luck with your setups and payoffs! And keep sending us your stories.