Here's a summary of the mistakes:
- repeating words
- flat writing I'll come back to this
- too many adverbs
- characters talking about what they already know
- "no-good suffixes" huh?
- the 'to be' words
- show,don't tell I'll come back to this
- awkward phrasing
One of "mistakes" I occasionally see are flat writing, which I would call a boring voice. I blogged about this recently, July 17: 'Show us your ...voice'. :)
Another one I occasionally see is telling rather than showing. I've blogged about this, too. But it can be difficult to explain. Holt says, If you say, "she was stunning and powerful," you're *telling* us. But if you say, "I was stunned by her elegant carriage as she strode past the jury - shoulders erect, elbows back, her eyes wide and watchful," you're *showing* us. The moment we can visualize the picture you're trying to paint, you're showing us, not telling us what we *should* see..
Keep writing, and keep an eagle-eye out for these potential problems. :)