Writing on Reading: The Darkness that Comes Before

I consider myself fairly knowledgeable when it comes to epic fantasy authors, but, for some reason, Canadian author R. Scott Bakker (pictured here) has been off my radar. I picked up a used copy of The Darkness that Comes Before because I wanted a nice, think fantasy to take with me on a long plane trip. Since I was not familiar with Bakker, it felt like a bit of a risk trying a new author while trapped in a cigar box, but hey--I can be an adventurous guy sometimes.

I'm happy to report that The Darkness that Comes Before did not disappoint. I loved the detailed and original fantasy world, the interesting variety of characters, and the intelligent bits of philosophy strewn throughout. The prose was well-written, and the plot multifaceted. My only real criticism of the book was the ending. I did not feel that Bakker had resolved enough plot threads when I reached the "end" of the book. Still, I'm interested enough to go on to the next book in the series when I get a chance.

What is "Young Adult" Fiction?

I recently read the first half of popular Young Adult fantasy released last year. I was surprised to discover that the first several chapters contained sex, incest, infanticide, and gang rape. It was hard for me to take, even as a not-so-young-adult. I don't want to sound like a prude, but should a book like that really be marketed as YA? I realize that young people have to learn about the harsh realities of the world, but do those realities have to be dumped on them with such harshness and insensitivity? 

The "Whys" of Epic Fantasy

I love well-written epic fantasy novels. For me, one element that makes a good fantasy novel is a world that is so real I want to know the "whys" of it. I feel rewarded when a get a tidbit of juicy information that explains or puts a new twist on the unique aspects of the world. I want to get to the end of the novel to find out answers to the big questions about the world that have been plaguing the characters (and the reader) from the outset of the story. And, importantly, I like the world so much that I want to come back and visit after I've finished the book.

Creating this sense of world is one of the most important--and challenging--aspects of a fantasy writer's craft. (Perhaps less so for some types of urban fantasy, but that's for another post someday). How do authors do it? I don't know all of the tricks, but here's a few things I noticed:

1) Characters care about the world they live in and want to understand it better;

2) The history of the world plays a role in the present and is revealed in a gradual, logical manner;

3) The world is multi-dimensional, rather than divided into "good" and "evil";

4) Distinct cultures, classes, nationalities, races, religions, and/or loyalties are presented and the intersection of these presents conflict; and

5) Many aspects of the world are not as simple as they first seem.

I'm sure there are others that I'm missing . . . please post them in the comments.

More on Setting

Editor Dave has inspired me to reread Donald Maass' Writing the Breakout Novel. This is quite good and I recommend it if you haven't read it. I may blog a bit about it, starting with setting. Setting is particularly important in speculative fiction, because basically anything goes! A couple things Maass said about setting struck me as interesting: For a setting to feel broadly representative, it must be highly specific. And ...the breakout novel ...creates its own complete, detailed, logical, and unique world. A little later, Place presented from an objective or omniscient point of view runs the risk of feeling like boring description... Try evoking the description the way it is experience by a character.

I strongly agree that settings need to be specific, but I disagree that they are or should be "broadly representative". I think we need settings to be specific so we, the readers, can put ourselves there. That's part of the goal with fiction, right? To experience being someone else. So, instead of going to 'the store', your character should go to the Truhr family's bodega down on 39th Street, where they have pictures of their five kids taped on the old-fashioned cash register. etc. etc. Okay, that's silly, but you get the idea.

I really liked the second quote above. Omniscient description does often feel boring, but when you filter it through 1st-person or 3rd-person characters, it gets interesting. For example, is it ninety-five degrees Fahrenheit outside, or are rivulets of sweat sluicing down Tamara's back, making her want to rip off her wool-blend interview suit? And does she go into the bodega for a frosty beverage... Now I'm rambling. :) But, I think you get the idea.

So, keep sending Electric Spec your setting-laden stories.

BSG--the end

I try not to blog about media spec fic, but... I can't seem to resist saying something about the series finale of Battlestar Galactica. And what I have to say is: while neat, it was a little confusing. (Apparently, we are all half Cylon!) I did find a very helpful Ronald D. Moore finale Q&A on the "What's Alan Watching" blog which answered most of my questions. There's a lot of other helpful links there, too. So, check it out if you have questions. :)

Hugo Nominations 2009

As you may have heard, the Hugo nominations were announced Thursday, March 19. For best short story they are:

• “26 Monkeys, Also the Abyss” by Kij Johnson (Asimov’s Jul 2008)
  
• “Article of Faith” by Mike Resnick (Baen’s Universe Oct 2008)
  
• “Evil Robot Monkey” by Mary Robinette Kowal (The Solaris Book of New Science Fiction, Volume Two)
  
• “Exhalation” by Ted Chiang (Eclipse Two)
  
• “From Babel’s Fall’n Glory We Fled” by Michael Swanwick (Asimov’s Feb 2008)
  

Read all about it.
Congrats to all the nominees!

Conflict and Obstacles

Due to some deadlines and an upcoming vacation, I'm a bit behind on my slush. It will probably be a week or two for me to get caught up. We try hard here to keep our response times low, but life does run away from us at times. We really appreciate your patience.

Nathan Bransford has a great post on conflict right now. Go on and read it--now if you like. We'll wait.

Nathan makes some great points, especially that bit about rooting for Duke. But we here at Electric Spec think of conflict slightly differently, though it might be more our vernacular than actual meaning. We tend to label conflict internal and external. Nathan also failed to discuss obstacles, and how they play in.

External conflicts, of course, are the forces (hopefully sentient!--more on that in a minute) that keep characters from their goal. Internal conflicts are more the thoughts and wants and needs and guilt and past that often get between characters and their goals. I tend to think of internal conflict as "characters getting in their own way." I tend to think of external conflict more as "plot". No question we see a lot of external conflict and less internal conflict in our slushpile, but internal is what rounds out strories and characters, making them become fully realized and, well, real.

Sometimes I see stories in which the writer confuses "obstacles" for conflict. I think it's easiest to think of it this way. The difference lays in the goals: a storm's goal is not to stop the Company from getting the ring to Mordor. But the Ringwraiths' goal is just that. The storm creates an obstacle. The Ringwraiths create conflict.

In the opening scene of one of my novels, two brothers are arguing about how to go about searching for their missing mother. That's external conflict, and a bit of internal, as well, because past hurts, doubt, and guilt play into their exchange. Then they realize someone is following them. That's conflict, too. She's an antagonist, and antagonists always fall into the conflict camp. But as one of the characters tries to get away from her, he runs into friends who want to chat, a love interest, bad weather, and finally a gate which traps him in an alley. Those are examples of obstacles, even though some of them are clearly sentient.

I would argue every good story needs internal conflict, external conflict, and obstacles, but sometimes I notice one or another missing in stories in our slush. Maybe people don't think short stories need all this. But each are important in their own way. External conflict drives a story, it's the blood pumping through the heart. Internal conflict provides valuable insight into character. Obstacles can often serve double duty as world building tools.

Characters

Not sure if anyone out there has ever converted prose to film. I've done it. A feature length film is actually, in prose, roughly the plot length of a short story. It's why folks complain about novel conversions so much.

I think it was Neil Gaiman who said he could only write really dark main characters in short stories. He just couldn't stand spending an entire novel with someone like that. So, if you think of the crazy, unforgettable characters we've met in film, some we love (the kids from Narnia, Aragorn as Strider) and the ones we don't love so much (Hannibal Lector) think of them in terms of a short story.

I find myself reeling back into calmer waters, character-wise, for novels. In short stories, I tend to let myself go. Great short stories (arguably, great stories, period) have memorable characters. But I think short stories have extra leeway. Sometimes I find in my slushpile that the characters just aren't enough, somehow. Some of this rests on motivation: strong motivation makes for strong actions which leads to strong characters. But I look for quirky characters, too; characters that push the boundaries of who they are.

I recently watched Transformers, which made for great character study. The writers took stock characters -- the out-of-touch cop, the pretty girl with a secret past, the mother trying to connect with her teenaged son, the "secret agent" who means well but isn't above throwing his weight around, the heroic soldiers -- and they pushed the boundaries of what it meant to be that character. To steal a cliched line from the film, at which the writers poke fun via dialogue, there was "more than meets the eye" to every character. They shoved the boundaries, down to the car salesman played by Bernie Mac. ("Gentlemen, Bobby Bolivia. Like the country except without the runs." ) Bobby was a typical used car salesman, but so obviously more, shouting at his deaf Mammy and making snide comments about cheap-ass fathers. When Bobby left the screen I was sorry to see him go.

Make your readers sorry to see your character go, and you'll find your story in our pages.

The goal is empathy

Warning: I'm on my soapbox...
Recently, on one of my writers loops there has been some discussion of narration. There seems to be some confusion on the topic. Let's back up a bit...

The goal for authors is: empathy for characters, especially for the protagonist.
Why? Because we want the reader to BECOME the character. The wonder and beauty of written fiction is it is the only medium in which a human being can become someone else. But it can't happen without empathy. Empathy is the identification, understanding and often sharing of, someone else's feelings and/or motives.

Of course, authors have many TOOLS at their disposal to tell their stories and engender empathy. These include description of setting and action, dialogue, and narrative. Narrative is when the author communicates directly with the reader. One could say narrative includes everything that isn't setting description, action, or dialogue.

Please note these tools are used to create fiction and should not be confused with the elements of fiction. Fiction itself has several parts or elements, which include character/characterization, plot, setting, theme (a conceptual distillation of the story), and style (how it is written). The effect created by the author's style is often referred to as voice.

It has been said that the ability to create fiction and other artistic works is a fundamental aspect of human culture and one of the defining characteristics of humanity.
So, why not use all the tools at your disposal to create fiction that engenders empathy and hence insights into the human condition?

Send us your stories!

Writing on Reading; The Robe

Lloyd C. Douglas wrote The Robe in 1942, but I was still able to find a copy a my local library. I think it is pretty impressive that a novel that was very popular when it was released more than 60 years ago is still in enough demand to be kept on the library shelf.

The Robe is about the son of a Roman Senator who takes part in the crucification of Jesus and later converts to Christianity. The novel has some flaws: it has some strange POV shifts, its a bit slow at points, it has historical inaccuracies, and at times it comes off as a bit preachy. Even so, it held my interest. The protagonist and especially the protagonist's slave are interesting, compelling characters. In addition, Douglas has a way with words. In fact, the book made me wonder if we've lost something in 2009 that we had way back in 1942. Some of the sentences and phrases in the novel had a different tone and feel than what we see today. A bit more formal, but also more precise and elegant. 

Critique Group is King, er, Queen!

I've been participating in a creative writing workshop lately, and I'm amazed at how talented the people in it are. I'm also amazed that none of the other people are in or have ever been in a critique group.

I would say critique group is king, but I prefer strong female protagonists, so Critique Group is Queen! :) I know/am acquainted with many working authors with contracts and they all have critique groups of some type. I don't care how much raw talent you have, 99% of writers need a critique group. Writers are too close to their own work and it takes fresh eyes to see what is really on the page.

This is true for novelists and for short story writers. Often at editorial meetings, we editors sit around and say things like: 'If only the author had developed the character arc of the protagonist; the setup was there but they didn't follow through. Doesn't this guy have a critique group?'

Dave said it yesterday. I've said it before and I'll probably say it again: critique groups are helpful!

Please keep sending us those (critiqued) stories!
An editorial note: we no longer have an autoresponse on the submissions email.

How to Keep Motivated to Write

I have this theory that most writers believe that writing is easier for other writers. Those other writers are filled with plot ideas, great characters, and lush settings that they pour on to the page with the same ease that they brush their teeth. In contrast, you just spent a frustrating two hours on one horrible paragraph that sucks and you're pretty sure you'll delete tomorrow. Not only that, but you are out of good ideas and may soon before forced to fall back on your crappy ones that people will laugh at.

Sound familiar to anyone? Those of you who are one of those "other writers," you can skip reading this blog entry. For that matter, you "other writers" can go eat some bad sushi--my treat. For the rest of us, I've found that one of the things that keeps me writing is my critique group. I have a deadline. I have readers. I have friends who bug me if I'm not writing.

Sometimes, writing for the "love" of it just wont hack it. It's nice to have another motivator to keep you going. 

Job Loss Propels Writer to Stardom . . . Not! (Part II)

Yesterday I shared my theory about "not enough time" being a (poor) excuse for not writing. The other part of this enduring belief  is the idea that we will have "more time to write when . . . (fill in the blank)." Occasionally, this is true: "I'll have more time to write when the wedding is over." "I'll have more time to write when I'm not taking care of my sick child." But, I've found from personal experience that most of the "whens" don't turn out to be true. When one time-consuming things ends, another ends up taking its place--or even being piled on. We feel like we have less and less time because it's true! As much as we try to say "no" to volunteer opportunities, social engagements, new work assignments, and other time hogs, we still end up with too much on our plate.

So, how do we keep writing despite all these demands on our time? First, you need to keep writing a priority--don't get so distracted that you stop writing altogether. Second, you need to figure out times that you can write--even if they are just small blocks of time. And third, you need to keep motivated. How to keep motivated will be the topic of a future blog.

Job Loss Propels Writer to Stardom . . . Not! (Part I)

Somebody told me the other day that agents were getting flooded with manuscripts by people forced out of their day jobs by the economy. At first I thought it seemed plausible. After all, I sometimes have fantasies about not having a day job and being able to write all day.

But then I thought--naw!

If people didn't have time to write when they had their day job, will they really find time to write when they don't? Usually, "not enough time" is just one of those excuses for not writing. It goes in the same category as "I'm waiting for my muse" or "writer's block." 

My theory is that people who really want to write, find time to write. Now, they might not have as much time as they'd like, but they use whatever time they are given to put butt in chair and hands on keyboard. They produce stories and/or novels. They submit. They get rejections. They join critique groups. They attend conferences. They try to get better. And, all this time, they secretly wish they had more time to do all of these.

More on this topic tomorrow . . .

And We're Live . . .

The new issue of Electric Spec is out. The all-new web design has already been getting rave reviews, and, as always, we have a great group of stories, an interview, and a movie column for your entertainment. We'd love to hear your comments on the new designs or the new stories.

And for those who follow our blog, we promise to be more faithful about posting now that our new issue is out and our redesign is done. (Whew!)

New Issue!

The next week may be a bit hectic on-site, replete with outages, as we switch websites and wrap up final details on this issue. Apologies for any irregularities. Additionally, we're going to start accepting submissions again as quickly as we can, as well as regaining our usual standard for turn-around. Thanks for your patience. We assure you, it'll be well worth it. The new issue and website are looking fabulous!

Specfic World Interview

Dolyle Wilmoth, editor of SpecFic Word, was kind enough to stop by and ask us a few questions about our Editorial Process. I thought I'd share our responses with our blog readers. For those of you who have been following us for a while, some of this will look familiar.

1) Name some of the most common reasons why you send a story packing back home to its owner?  

-- A weak opening with no immediately apparent conflict
-- Lack of a clearly defined, sympathetic protagonist
-- A story setting that is vague or too generic
-- Too much world-building at the outset of the story
-- The story is longer than it needs to be (i.e. lack of focus)
-- An ending that fails to bring the story together or resolve the central conflict in some way

2) And what automatically tips you off that a story isn't ready for publication, besides bad writing?

If an author isn’t able to grab us within the first paragraph, or at least the first few pages, then in all likelihood the story isn’t ready for publication. In a few instances, we’ve been able to work with the author to fix problem beginnings, but that is the exception rather than the rule. Authors need to polish their whole story, but particularly the opening.

Another common tip-off that the story isn’t ready for publication is flat or unnecessary character description. For example, we see far too many characters who are running their hands through their blonde hair or staring at x with their green eyes.

3) And what continually aggravates you to no end about submissions from new writers?  Things like: No SASE.  No return address. Phone calls asking about submissions, etc.

We like to see cover e-mails with at least the bare minimum of information, such title and word count. An e-mail with nothing but “please consider the attached” leaves us with guess work we don’t like to do. We could also do without information about pets (number of cats or dogs) or relationships (married, children) in the cover letter. Angry responses to rejections are also a frustration but fortunately not that common.

4) What kind of stories do you see way too often and don't care to ever see again in your slush-pile?

I don’t think there are any stories that we don’t ever want to see. Many times we have been surprised by fresh takes on well-worn topics. However, the following are tough sells:

Aliens land on earth.
Aliens land on earth and attack humans.
Aliens land on earth and have sex with humans.
A person is changed into a vampire.
A person is killed by a vampire.
A person has sex with a vampire.
A robot is built.
A robot attacks one or more people.
A robot has sex with one or more people.
Someone kills his or her spouse, girlfriend, mother, etc.
Light speed travel (or cryogenic sleep) has caused the protagonist to return to earth after some sort of space mission to find the world changed
Lots of fighting (e.g. sword fighting, space duels, laser battles) and not much else

5) What do you look for in a story--the things that make you sit up and say wow!

1. Unique protagonists with unique problems
2. Unique settings (either on our world or others);
3. Writing that is smooth and tight, without extra words or plot developments 

New Story

Please excuse the blatant self-promotion, but I thought I'd let people know I have a new story out at Fusion Fragment. I hope you take the time to check it out.

temporarily closed to subs as of Feb 11

Due to our website redesign, Electric Spec needs to close temporarily for story submissions. We're going to do it as of Feb. 11, 2009. Sorry for the short notice. However, we will reopen for story submissions for the next issue (June 2009) as of March 1, 2009.

New Website

Lesley hinted at it, but I'm now announcing our upcoming

!!!NEW WEBSITE!!!

Lesley has done a fantabulous job with the design and operation of our current
website for the past three years.
(Let's hear it for Lesley!!!)
But, when we got offered a brand-new professional site, we just couldn't turn it down.
(More specific accolades to come.)

Besides making publication super-easy for us, it features hi-res graphics and leading-edge navigation technology to best highlight the lifeblood of our magazine: our stories. We still plan on offering downloading options, but I think most readers will prefer to read
our stories online in our new, easy-on-the-eye format.

The new website will debut with our Third Anniversary issue at the end of this month. Unfortunately, we anticipate a few delays, a brief submission stoppage,
and a shut-down prior to publication.
As soon as we nail down those dates, we'll let you know here and on the current site.

Okay...back to editing those upcoming stories!!

More on Wiggle Room

Editor Betsy's recent post about "wiggle room" was interesting. I'm not sure I agree with her about unintentional themes, but I do agree that different readers take away different things. And this is a good thing. For example, I recently workshopped a story with a new group and got some very diverse feedback. A little wiggling may be inevitable. :)

Recently, I reread Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card and in the "Author's Definitive" Introduction, he wrote:
This is the essence of the transaction between storyteller and audience. The "true" story is not the one that exists in my mind; it is certainly not the written words on the bound paper that you hold in your hands. The story in my mind is nothing but a hope; the text of the story is the tool I created in order to try to make that hope a reality. The story itself, the true story, is the one that the audience members create in their minds, guided and shaped by my text, but then transformed, elucidated, expanded, edited, and clarified by their own experience, their desires, their own hopes and fears.

Wiggle Room.

Issue Update

Here's a very quick update on the upcoming February 28 issue of Electric Spec. The editors had their production meeting over the weekend and selected stories for publication. Early this week all authors should hear if their 'hold for voting' story made it into the issue.

Kudos to all the authors. We had a heck of a time deciding on stories! There were many very, very good stories to choose from. If your story did not make it into this issue, please try us again. Several stories had to be declined because of concerns such as issue balance.

We also have some exciting changes in store with the next issue. Stay tuned for more info!

Perhaps the other editors would like to chime in about the production meeting or the exciting new changes? :)

Reader's Wiggle Room

Two days ago, Neil Gaiman won the Newberry for THE GRAVEYARD BOOK. I bought this middle grade book early on and read through it quickly. I love Gaiman's work and thought my 10 year old son would enjoy it, too. As soon as I can pry him away DIARY OF A WIMPY KID 3, he'll read it. And love it, no doubt. (I do love how I had to bribe him to read it with STAR WARS comics. Bwahahaha. He's succumbing to my evil plan of complete speculative fiction infiltration.)

I was excited as a fan of speculative fiction to see a fantasy win the award this year. The book starts grim, with a wet knife and a dead family, but ends on quite the note of hope. Its hero is a little boy who keeps his head through all sorts of weird adventures. I like to think it reflects the current times: measured thought and action + a little luck and help from people who love us = hope. It's well worth a read.

My favorite thing about Gaiman is the way he never, ever speaks down to the reader, whether they're 10 or 100. It's not that he never employs telling, but he leaves lots of room for a reader's personal interpretation. I try to think of my own work that way--less in terms of what I'm trying to say but more in terms of what will different readers take away? When different readers mention unintentional themes in my work, I know I've done my job as a writer.

And therein may lay the key to beating this subjective editing business. If I find something in your story that resonates with me personally, I'm likely to want to buy it. You have no idea, as a writer, what that may be. But if you leave me some wiggling room, you've got a lot better chance.

Writing on Reading: The Time Traveler's Wife

I recently reread The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger from 2003. What an interesting book on several levels! The author writes in present tense and the prose is very stream-of-consciousness. Approximately 95% of the book is narrative or the protagonists thoughts--beautifully done. Clearly, this author is a gifted writer and the book is easy to devour. However, as a writer, I do have a nitpick: the minds of the two protagonists (a man and a woman!) are indistinguishable.

The book also raises some issues such as, what is genre? This book was considered "mainstream" rather than science fiction, despite the time travel. I think this is because of the writer's style (see above) and because of the sad and disturbing ending.

Upon further consideration, this story is really only a love story. The author does an excellent job showing the ups and downs of relationships between a romantic couple and among family members. The time travel is just the problem the couple deals with; any disease would do. In particular, I did not like that the time-traveling protagonist never tries to alter "fate"--at least we never see him try. His mother dies in a car accident and he visits the accident scene many times, but does he ever time-travel to an hour before and tell her not to get into the car? He knows about the 9/11 terrorist attacks in advance and doesn't try anything. Why not go to the towers and pull the fire alarms before the planes come at least?
Thus as a love story, this novel was lovely, but as time-travel, it left something to be desired.

What did you think?

Ooh, and they made a movie of it, starring Eric Bana as Henry and Rachel McAdams as Clare, with Robert Schwentke directing. This appears to be in post-production oblivion however? Possibly being released this year? Does anyone know anything about this?

Leggo my Hugo

If you attended Denvention in 2008 or you are planning to attend Anticipation (i.e. Worldcon) 2009, now is the time to get your Hugo nomination ballots in. Although Electric Spec does not meet the requirements for a "semipro zine" (we don't advertise--you'd think that would be a good thing), we do qualify for "best fanzine." I don't really consider us a "fanzine" (I consider us semipro despite what the Hugo folks say). However, if somebody wants to give us a Hugo, I will not complain.

If you read (or wrote) a story in Electric Spec that you think deserves a nod for Best Short Story, be sure and include that on your ballot. (I know I did).

Writing on Reading: The Alchemy of Stone

The Alchemy of Stone by Ekaterina Sedia is a steam punk fantasy that explores an issue usually left to sci-fi--and it does a great job. Matti is an "emancipated" automaton who has a love/hate relationship with her creator (with some strange sexual overtones). Matti's creator refuses to give Matti the key necessary to wind her up, thereby forcing her to maintain a bond with her creator that she resents.

Sedia does a nice job looking at this relationship from a "female" automaton's perspective. She also builds an interesting world filled with machines, magic, and gargoyles. 

The Alchemy of Stone was printed by a small speculative fiction press called Prime Books. Given the quality and uniqueness of this novel, I'll look forward to reading more of Prime's offerings.

finally a Foundation movie?

Variety reported Friday Jan 16 that "Columbia won an auction late Thursday for screen rights to 'Foundation,' Isaac Asimov's ground-breaking sci-fi trilogy. The project will be developed as a directing vehicle for Roland Emmerich.

Emmerich and his Centropolis partner Michael Wimer will produce the film. The deal was for mid-six against low-seven figures."

Apparently it has been rather a rocky road getting Foundation to the screen...
Read more about it. I've got my fingers crossed that this time it happens.

How about you? What classic SF or fantasy novels would you like to see on the big screen?

Writing on Reading: The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

Junot Diaz's debut novel, The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, won the Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Critics award for Best Novel in 2007. Based on this, you might think Diaz is quite an impressive writing talent, and you'd be right. Don't be misled--Oscar Wao is not speculative fiction, but it pays tribute to science fiction and fantasy throughout. Oscar, the central character of the novel, is (for lack of a better phrase) a genre geek. This lets him make references to fantasy and sci-fi culture that only fellow geeks can truly appreciate. 

While the many genre references certainly add to the reading experience, they are not central to it. Diaz combines a fresh writing style, cultural/historical insights on the the Dominican Republic, and exquisitely drawn characters to create a novel that is bound to be considered a classic. But don't worry. This is not the case were "classic" equates with "boring." The plot is engaging, and the language is accessible (although familiarity with Spanish is a plus). It will appeal to a wide variety of literary tastes and is worth the read.

Nebula Award Changes

Yesterday, the Board of Directors of SFWA passed a new set of rules for the Nebula Awards. Some highlights include:

• changing eligibility from a one-year rolling basis to calendar year of publication
  
• changing the recommendation window from "any time" to a three-month nominations period (15 November to 15 February)
  
• limiting members to five nominations per category
  
• removing the preliminary ballot from the process
  
• abolishing the Nebula Award juries, which had had the ability to add one work in each category to the final ballot
  
• replacing the script award with a "Ray Bradbury Award for Best Dramatic Presentation" (specifically including motion pictures, television, Internet, radio, audio, and stage productions)
  
• explicitly defining the Ray Bradbury script and Andre Norton Young Adult awards as not Nebulas
  

Read the complete revised and updated Nebula Awards Rules

First Page Entry

After too many years to actually count, I finally found you! Slim build, long, dark hair, pouting, ruby lips, cerulean-blue eyes, face like a porcelain doll. Best of all, I KNEW we would dance, at every opportunity.

I took you in my arms, just as the music started. Initially, you were as limp as a rag doll, and clumsily followed my lead through the waltz. You were a mannequin, after all.

Then, to my surprise and utter delight, an amazing thing happened. Slowly and seeming deliberately, your limbs and joints lost their stiffness and fused together, your face became animated - your eyes, super expressive, behind those long, dark lashes. They studied me closely, as we now glided effortlessly over the old wooden floor... then, almost imperceptibly, became pitch black, with blazing reds where the irises should have been. Your arm began to tighten around my neck, your dainty hand in my callused one.

Fingernails sprouted into sharp, tapered claws, pearly white teeth morphed into cutting incisors and needle-like canines, flashing in the candlelight as those red, luscious lips parted in glee.

Despite my best efforts to resist, you practically willed my face down to where your fleshy rasp of a tongue could teasingly taunt my earlobe.

I'm going to start with yet another disclaimer. I really don't like second person, not even a little bit. I've thought about why and I decided it's because it really doesn't include the reader in any way. This writer is talking to someone who is not me, as if I'm reading a stolen letter. I have no real way, as a reader, to identify with the narrator or anyone else in the story. Another editor may feel differently, but I don't see a lot of second person in fiction these days.

Though there may be a great story in here, a mannequin (robot, droid, love doll, old doll, etc) coming to life has been done before. This might have a different angle, but I don't see it in this first page. This writer obviously has a firm hand with descriptives, and even the adverbs didn't bug me as much as usual. Plus, I love me a shallow narrator who gets his (or hers)! But the second person is such a strike, I doubt I'd read on.

Aaaand, on that happy note, I am out of candidates for the First Page Game, so it's obviously suspended until we get more. Tell all your friends and we'll hopefully play again soon. Thanks so much to everyone who has submitted their first pages so far. In fact, thanks to everyone who submits to Electric Spec! Obviously, there wouldn't be a magazine without you, and our slush seems to grow and improve with every issue.

Why are you reading this?

If you're a writer, I have a question for you: how did you decide to read this blog post rather than work on your novel or story? By asking this question, I'm not not trying to turn away blog readers. (We love you, blog readers!) Instead, I'm trying to encourage balance in your writing life. Cory Doctorow, in his most recent article in Locus, discusses how he deals with "Writing in the Age of Distraction." His simple answer may surprise you. (Hint: it's perfectly fine to read this blog post, just make sure you've set aside time for writing as well!)

Issue Balance

In the past few days, we've touched on the topic: stories might be very good but just not right for Electric Spec. Alas, there is yet another topic editors must consider for 'zines: issue balance.
This is yet another hurdle to publication that authors have no control over. :(
As editors, we want to have a well-balanced issue with a variety of types of stories. So, if we have six awesome vampire stories in the hold-for-voting pile, sadly, only one is going to make it into the issue.

What does this mean for authors? This means if your story is about something unusual, something others aren't writing about, you'll have a better chance at publication.

I look forward to seeing those unusual stories in the future!

Electric Spec Submission Status

Here's where we are in the submission process for Electric Spec. We've reviewed all submissions sent to Electric Spec before January 5. (I didn't keep an exact count this time, but it was somewhere around 300). If you submitted before then and have not received a "no thanks" or "hold for voting" e-mail, it means that our "no thanks" got lost in the transmission process. Go ahead and submit your story elsewhere.

If your story is one of the thirty stories being held for voting, the wait will be just a little longer. The editors need to review those stories and then decide on the (approximately) six stories that will be published in the next issue. You can expect to hear from us either way sometime around the first week of February.

For those of you who submitted stories after January 5, please be patient. We generally don't have time to read new submissions while we're working on the new issue. So, you probably will not hear from us until March.

Thanks again for all of your submissions. Looks like we're going to have another great issue!

whew!

I am finished with my slush for this issue and in the spirit of Lesley's previous post, I'm writing a round-up as well.

People. PEOPLE! Stop writing so many great stories. It makes my job so difficult.

I had to write several rejections for good stories that really just weren't right for me or Electric Spec. These are stories that will sell to some magazine, somewhere; we're just not the right market.

That's a line you hear editors spout all the time. Not right for me. That might beg the question: what is right for this editor?

Climbing over unusual odds to save important people.

Dark hatred expressed with good reason. (Hatred can drive a character, but shouldn't define them. Give me a way to identify with them, too--just a tidge of humanity. I see a lot of flat characters defined by one past event.)

Noir atmosphere in an unusual world.

Tragic or thoughtful hilarity. (Ok, that one takes some explaining. Make me laugh, but also make me think. The world only needs one Chevy Chase.)

Science fiction with well-executed contextual jargon and culture, and characters natural to that culture.

Happy endings. (Ok, that one take some explaining, too. I don't need wine and roses and self-congratulatory pats on the back, but I want a change. Let me see the characters grow. A bad ending is fine if at least one of the characters is better for it.)

Seeing a story from someone I know! That's a particular joy.

Not right for me:

Angst--especially the teen-aged variety.

Voice over content. Make something happen.

Unreasonable, unexplained violence. (I like me some violence. Not so much the psychopaths.)

Doing bad stuff to kids.

Weird mother-daughter relationships.

Humorous takes on horror.

Tired tropes and devices like Someone Who Knows Things But Doesn't Tell, POV Characters Keeping Secrets, People Waking Up At The Start of the Story, Magical Items Ruling The Day, to name a few.

Stories that start too late. That's a biggie. Some stories have too much set-up, rather than introducing the characters and the problem in the first 250 words. I find myself getting quite rigid on that as the years go by. Voice and atmosphere and cool backstory only pulls me along so far when I'm in the midst of a fifty-story slush pile. But it's not just me. Many folks read a ton of short fiction, and there are a lot of great options out there. Choosing to not finish a story is only a click away. Let's keep their hands off their mouses, eh?

Thanks for all the great stories! I think we set a new record with our "hold for voting" file, so my reading ain't done yet. I'm going to get real busy with the upcoming issue (and hopefully a few surprises) so after the next First Page, I have to suspend the first page game for awhile.

Do's & Do's

We Editors have all been through quite a bit of slush lately. Thank you, authors, for sending your stories in! We appreciate it! Without you authors, Electric Spec couldn't exist.

In the face of so much slush, I must admit, I do have some advice for folks...

In the interests of being positive, I'm calling it

Do's & Do's:

• Do send us your short stories, rather than your novels. We don't publish novels.
  
• Do include your story as an rtf attachment.
  
• Do send us spec fiction. This includes science fiction, fantasy, horror and any combination thereof. In fact, I'd love to see more SF/Fantasy and/or horror combos. :)
  
• Do send us one story at a time.
  
• Do send us a unique original story. The following plots will be a tough sell:
  
  • Aliens land on earth.
    
  • Aliens land on earth and attack humans.
    
  • Aliens land on earth and have sex with humans.
    
  • A person is changed into a vampire.
    
  • A person is killed by a vampire.
    
  • A person has sex with a vampire.
    
  • A robot is built.
    
  • A robot attacks one or more people.
    
  • A robot has sex with one or more people.
  
  Actually, this robot stuff reminds me of a really funny story I saw in The Onion: Roomba Violates All Three Laws Of Roombotics. You know I'm an Asimov fan, right? :)
  
• Do use correct grammar and spelling.
  • Do note MSWord Spell Autocheck (or whatever it's called) is not always your friend, e.g. from/form, etc.
    
  • Do use first-person pov OR third-person pov consistently (2nd-person is a tough sell).
    
  • Do use past tense (present tense might be okay).
  
  
• Do have your critique group critique your story. You know I'm a big advocate of critique groups, right? In the absence of a critique group, do have your buddy/mom/spouse/alien?/vampire?/robot? read over your story and make sure there are no glaring errors.
  
• Do include a cover letter with your name, pen name, email address, story title, story word count, previous pub credits. You can tell us about your hobbies, your kids, your insert-whatever-here, but we don't really care about that stuff.
  
• If you feel you MUST reply to our rejection/hold-for-voting email, do be polite and professional.
  
• When your story is accepted do be professional with your editor. :)
  

Thanks!

Deadline Today!

The deadline for our first 2009 issue is today midnight U.S. MST! Any submissions we receive after that will be considered for our June 30, 2009 issue.

First Page Entry

**page deleted per author's request**

First a disclaimer: I'm doing this game as an editor. I'm trying to let you all in on what goes on in our heads as we read (or, well, at least mine). I participate in a lot of critique, and that's a different animal. In critique, I spend a lot of time with the person's pages, figuring out what's working and what's not. I often know beforehand what the writer is trying to accomplish, so I can focus on whether they achieved that or not. I go into critique knowing it's not a finished product and expecting changes will be made.

Not so, editing. When I read my slush, I expect to read the best story possible, polished and finished. I expect it's already been read by people who will tell the author the truth (one of many reasons I don't crit my slush--it should have already by vetted by others). I'm not looking for reasons to reject, but I don't spend a lot of time figuring out how to fix a story either. Reading slush is not critique. It's editing.

It sounds harsh; it might sound like I'm slamming every story I read. Actually, I spend a lot of time thinking: Not for E-Spec and move on. Why do I move on? Because I'm actually looking for a reason to take a story. Call me an optimist that way.

So, I'll be frank. The structure of a few of the sentences in this piece bothers me. Sometimes the link between ideas are confusing, sometimes it's passive voice, and sometimes the subject needs to come first.

Subject-verb-object is an editor's dream, really. Solid, traditional structure is like a clean window; I can see right through to the idea. I see sentences here that feel like the author may be trying for voice and atmosphere--especially the early ones-- but they just ended up confusing me.

As for the plot, why don't we know why she can't go into the forest? Well, okay, the POV character doesn't know, but why doesn't he tell her? More importantly, why doesn't she ask? Older, wiser beings Who Know Stuff But Don't Tell is tired trope. Often, an early reveal will add to the tension of the story--if it's a good secret, that is. Right now, though, all I got are singing trees and I'm thinking "How bad can singing trees be, anyway?"

Think of the first page as roughly the first chapter of a book. By the end of a first chapter in a novel you should know the protag, their problem, at least one obstacle in their way (it's AWESOME if that obstacle is the antagonist). Plus it's cool if we get a little "by golly I'm going into that forest anyway" so we know our marching orders are coming from someone who's going in with both guns blazing. What's missing from this page are details of the problem and to some extent, a clear antagonist (though if we believe Dad, the trees might be it).

Because I had to read a couple of sentences a couple of times and because I don't know what the problem is and because I've got 50 stories in my inbox right now, I'd probably not read on. I really don't mean that to sound harsh. There may be potential here. But I don't see it in on the first page.

Thanks so much for playing along and keep them coming! A note on my slush: my goal is to get through all my stories by Friday, and our cut-off is today, the 5th, at midnight.

Rejection Letters--Some Random and Not So Random Musings

If you're an author who is trying to sell your work, you are more familiar with rejection letters than you'd like to be. I know I am. Search around the blogosphere and you'll find all kinds of comforting advice for authors who are piling up rejections: "its a badge of honor," "it shows you are working," "look at all the famous authors who got stupid rejection letters" and so on. Bottom line is that, as working authors, we all have to learn to deal with rejection in our own way, and, if we can't deal with it professionally, we're in the wrong business.

Now, let me switch hats. What responsibilities do editors have for helping authors get over (or get fewer) rejections? For many editors, the answer is "none." What matters to them is the bottom line, not the author's ego. No so for E-spec editors. We can't provide individual critiques for every rejection (which some, but not all, authors would consider helpful). In a past post (see August 5, 2008 post), I talked about why Electric Spec generally uses form rejections (a form that we believe is kinder than many other 'zines). As we've also mentioned in the past, one of the reasons we started the blog is give advice that we can't give on an individual basis. We don't expect everyone to agree with the advice, and, in fact, we enjoy different points of view in the blog comments.

However, it seems worth reminding people that replying to rejection letters with outrage or incredulity is a bad idea. Bets put it well in her December 20, 2007 post:

And especially, especially don't send us a snotty response to a rejection. Now, I am terrible with names, so I won't remember you if you sent us a snotty reply. (I can't speak for my fellow editors--Lesley seems to have one of those steel-trap minds, and Dave is a lawyer--take what significance from that as you will.) Also, our office is the Internet and various restaurants in Boulder, so we don't have a "black-balled" bulletin board. However, my experience is that a surly attitude often matches sub-par writing, so if you're angry with an editor, you might take a fresh look at your own writing. Might you instead be angry with yourself? Next to parenting, writing is the most difficult endeavour I've ever embarked upon, so you're not alone in your frustration.

Writing on Reading: The Emperor of Ice Cream

The Emperor of Ice Cream is a collection of short stories by fantasy author Jeffery Ford. The book, along with many of the stories in the book, has received several awards and lots of critical acclaim. The acclaim is well-deserved. What I liked about Ford's stories was the non-traditional approach to fantasy. He avoids tropes and concentrates on unique characters and situations. His writing is focused and crisp, and he's especially adept at ending his stories with just the right touch. As a writer, I really enjoyed the comments about each story by the author at the end. You don't often get to hear information about the origin or inspiration of a story from an author. Some of the stories I thought were particularly good were "Jupiter's Skull" "A Night in the Tropics" and "The Emperor of Ice Cream." 

The Sandy Writing Contest

Happy New Year everyone! I hope all of you have a great year of writing and reading.

Here's one opportunity to get your writing in the hands of the pros in 2009. The Sandy Writing Contest is a great chance for unpublished authors to have a chapter of their manuscripts read by agents or editors. For example, final round judging in the Fantasy/Science Fiction category will be done by Cameron McClure with the Donald Maas Agency. First round judging will be by various authors and editors, including yours truly. So, why not take this great opportunity to get your manuscript noticed in 2009!

Deadline looming & article

This is a friendly reminder that the story deadline for our first 2009 issue (Feb 28) is looming: January 5 midnight U.S. MST. Get those stories in!

I came across a neat article Small World: Writing in the Internet Age by Stuart Neville, one of our Electric Spec authors, who has a big new book deal. (Congrats Stuart!) Check out what he has to say about opportunities, marketing, and other aspects of writing in the internet age.

Happy New Year!

Writing Reading: From Dead to Worse

I can be kind of slow when it comes to discovering new authors. I'm embarrassed to admit, I'd never heard of Charlaine Harris until I watched True Blood on HBO.
I'll wait while you all catch your breath from laughing...

Are you back? Okay.
I didn't start reading the Southern Vampire Mysteries until the HBO series was over (trying to avoid spoilers--that thing about Sam the bar owner was quite a shock, wasn't it?) Anyway, I've devoured all of the SVMs since then, including the latest book 8: From Dead to Worse. From Dead to Worse is quintessential SVM. There are two big Supe showdowns, lots of danger, pluckiness and angst for Sookie, and an excellent surprise at the end. You may notice I'm not being too specific because I don't want to spoil it for you. The gist here is this book is excellent; there's excellent characterization, excellent plotting, excellent setting, excellent you-name-it. Read it!


Ms. Harris may well be my new favorite author.

Finding a wonderful new author is one of the best gifts of all.

Happy holidays, everyone! Best wishes for 2009!

Cover letters: why bother?

In my most recent trip through the slush pile, I was surprised to see so many submissions that didn't meet our requirements. I don't think it is unreasonable for Electric Spec to ask for some basics along with a story submission--like title, word count, and a short cover letter. When I get a blank e-mail, or even an e-mail that says only "Please consider the attached story," I'm attempted to reject the story outright for failure to follow our guidelines. In fact, if we start getting even more submissions than our current rate, I might just do so. Why? First, I'm hesitant to even open an attachment if I'm not clear on what it is. A blank e-mail isn't comforting. Second, we generally include the first name of the author and the name of the story in our submission responses, even if they are rejections. Sometimes I don't remember the title of the story or the first name of the author (e-mails don't always match) when I'm responding. I don't want to reopen the attachment to do that. Finally, if I have a word count up front, I have a better idea about how much time it will take me to consider the submission. Also, a missing word count makes me wonder if the story exceeds our guidelines. (Call me paranoid, but I've seen authors try to do this). 

I'm an author myself, and I know that it can be frustrating to send out so many submissions only to see a pile of rejections. But what I can't understand is why an author wouldn't take the time to write a three sentence cover letter along with his or her labor of love. It takes two minutes (max) and it gives you a little edge over those who don't bother.

Read-Only

I've gotten a couple of Read-Only files lately. Frustrating. For one, it indicates a lack of trust and professionalism (akin to noting copyright on your manuscripts.) But mostly, I read stories with my fingers on my keyboard. I often make little fixes and word switches, insert punctuation. In other words, I edit stories as I read. It keeps me engaged and lets me explore the amount of work a story will take to bring it to publication. I don't save these edits, but it's my little quirk as an editor. I do this more intensively during our voting process.

Plus, if we do take the story, you're going to have to send me another file before I can edit it. In my experience, those exchanges take a few days to complete and can set me off-schedule.

Indulge me in this. Send us regular .rtfs please. We aren't interested in stealing stories; we're interested in buying them.

First Page Entry

Getting Noticed

All my life I'd known this was coming. That one day I'd hold this piece of paper in my hands. I hadn't known how badly I'd wanted it to be much, much later. I eased the thick paper back into the official black envelope and placed it on the console table. Blinking rapidly to keep tears at bay, I placed a finger and thumb on either side and squared it neatly in the centre of the slippery walnut surface.

I snatched my keys from the ethnic clay dish, a souvenir from my sister's endless travels, and stepped back into my routine. I took my normal drive to work, feeling less pleased with my choice of summery white gypsy skirt and blue blouse than I had been. I wished I'd dressed more sombrely.

In the office I collected a plastic cup of almost hot water from the dispenser and took it to my desk. It was quieter than I'd expected. When I sat down, I realised that I wouldn't be able to concentrate much. I only had three months left and all the things on my to-do list seemed pointless. I wondered why I'd spent so many years doing them.

Carole was next in. She sat down on the other side of the grey partition wall in a clatter of bracelets. Reaching behind her monitor to start her computer, she looked at me and smiled. "Hey, I got my notice this weekend. Feels a bit weird. What did you do?"

"Me too," I smiled back and my face felt like it didn't belong to me.

"What are you going to do? I know it's not something to make a fuss about but a couple of my friends got theirs too and we thought we'd have a party. A bit of a send off." Carol turned her eyes to her screen and tugged at a lock of dark hair at the back of her neck. She'd just had it highlighted.

"That's a nice idea." I said. "Quite a few people I know have had their notice recently and I didn't get to say goodbye."

"Does it seem to you that it's getting earlier?"

"My parents were both in their sixties when they went. I guess I always thought I'd have so much longer."

The office was busier now. John came up to us, swinging a plastic drinks tray. "Who's on notice?" he said, "I got mine Saturday."

For the most part, I think the writing is quite sound. Its direct simplicity appeals to me, and the duplicity of the title intrigues me, especially since it's so quickly tied in. Some of the word choices confuse me, such as "ethnic", mostly for their lack of specificity. There also was a line early on which I had to read a couple of times. But helping a writer choose a more perfect word or sentence structure in a near-perfect story is part of an editor's job. What we look for, if we really like the story, is easily fixable issues.

I would tag all dialogue this early on. This isn't because I lost track of who was speaking, but just to get names and characteristics entrenched in readers' heads. Also, I don't know the narrator's name. The simple solution is to insert it into dialogue.

As for content, the "notice" strikes me like winning the "Lottery" did in The Island, in which clones were harvested for organs. Or perhaps they're headed off-world? In the hands of a lesser writer, not knowing almost immediately would frustrate me, but this writer has integrated the "secret" so seamlessly into the plot, I don't mind. Caveat though, I'd mind if it lasted the entire story. That's a plot device that's overdone and out of style.

Based on what I see here, I'd definitely read on.

first Page Entry

I've lost count by now, but I still have a few in the queue. Thanks for those who have played along with us. I've seen some minor publicity on various blogs, so thanks for that and keep 'em coming. I'll keep playing until we run out. And now for the latest...

Like Icarus on Lustrous Wings

“Captain, District is on the line for you. Urgent orders, Sir.”

The message came to me from Combat Information Center, and yes, “Combat” is a joke on a satellite tender. Unlike the beauties of the Royal Fleet, out practicing their war games, our tender was little more than a janitor ship. To us, urgent orders meant that a recreational pilot had probably bumped a private corporation's satellite out of orbit or knocked off a transceiver.

I left the bridge, where I was observing my deck crew replacing a gold-foil sheet on a nav satellite’s solar panel, and headed below to receive the call in my cabin.

“Captain Hurd,” I said into the handset.

A voice said, “Please hold for the Admiral, Captain.”

Then, an older man’s voice came through. “Hurd, Admiral Asanzy.”

Asanzy headed up District command out of Station Loy. Loy was over seventy years old, the oldest space station still in service--no new gear for this under-funded and over-worked Orbit Guard.

“Go ahead, Admiral.”

Asanzy said, “We have intelligence that a Neoplastian tug is en route. We expect it to cross into our air-space in the next twenty-four hours. I need you to intercept and detain.”

“You sure we’re the best resource for that, Admiral?”

Not really a lot to say on this one. Using a very serviceable writing style, the author sets the scene, jumps into action, and we have what I think must be the story problem--an under-equiped maintenance ship going up against a baddie of some sort. I caught on to the unfamiliar lingo via the narrative. No idea what a Neoplatian tug actually is, but hopefully we'll find out quickly. I'm assuming it's bad, though by the Captain's reaction, it might not be too bad. It might be nice to have an internal right before that laast line of dialogue to clue the reader into tension levels. Or, maybe the guy is ho-hum about it at first and then finds himself in doo-doo. That might work in a novel, and it might even work here, but it can be risky gambit in the short form where tension is paramount.

Even so, I would definitely read on.

First Page Entry

Listening to the Wind

The wind came from the north with a dark whisper, carrying a wild scent, fecund and raw. Ahnah listened and she watched. But the icy landscape of the Far Northern Reaches was bare of movement, empty of sound save for the wind.

The Spirit Lights flittered across the northern sky in an arching veil of red. Red sky; bad omen, Grandfather used to say.

She cast her mind out. The wolves were moving in from the south, drawn by the scent of fresh meat. Sanglak would need to set extra guards on the sleds. The three white ice bears would feed the village for an entire moon cycle; they couldn't afford to lose them.

Behind her, the ten hunters slept in the tent. They'd run hard all day, pushing the sleds, but were still three days from the village. Ahnah was uneasy. Killing the mother bear and its cub had angered the spirits. All day Ahnah had watched the clouds piling up into towering, forbidding demeanors. She opened her mouth to taste the wind. Tlamo--large wet flakes of snow--would fall soon. It would make for treacherous footing. Time to wake the others.

This makes for some beautiful scene setting, and if this reader has borrowed from Alaska for world-building, I'm cool with that. But, I don't really know if we're in another world or if we're actually in Alaska. From an editorial point of view, this is a problem because we're a speculative fiction magazine. I'm not going to waste my time on stories with no speculative elements--and so far none have turned up. This has a mainstream feel, and we just aren't going to buy mainstream fiction. That said, speculative elements turning up on the first page is more bonus than requirement. But as I read on, spec elements taking their time to appear becomes a bit of a ding against the story.

Speaking of first pages, however, :) as I do this game, I'm realizing how militant I'm getting about the story problem turning up within the first 200-300 words in a short story. Now, I'm sure there are great stories where this doesn't happen (feel free to point them out to me in comments if you like) but online fiction has a lot of competition out there for readers' attention. Consider the blog posts you read. Likely you prefer them to get to the point so you know whether it interests you or not. While conciseness is always important in the short form, my feeling is that nowhere is it more important than in stories that appear online. That might be just my bent, and we certainly have published great long stories, some of them in the current issue.

But right now, all I've got is the first page. From this, the problem appears to be "getting home with meat for winter against natural odds."

My problem with this story, er, problem--if this is the premise-- is that nature doesn't really make such a great antagonist. Nature can provide obstacles for your protagonist, really good obstacles, but nature can rarely provide the kind of conflict and tension that sentient being v. sentient being can provide.

Of course, if this is speculative fiction, anything could happen here, anything at all. The wolves could be intelligent. Conflict could appear between Ahnah and her hunting party. The red lights could be from alien ships. She could be a time traveling anthropologist. See? Anything. So, since the writing feels competent, I would read on.

Deadline for next issue posted

As I put on the homepage, our next Electric Spec issue will be published February 28, 2009. The submission deadline for stories for that issue will be January 5, 2009, midnight U.S. MDT. Stories received after that date/time will be considered for our next issue (probably June 30, 2009).

Keep sending us those stories! Thanks!

Tips for Snips

How do you make a short story "tight"? How do you keep in the bits you need and cut out the bits you don't? It's not as easy as it seems, but here's a few ideas on places where it is often a good idea to cut.

1. Non-action actions. Watch out for boring verbs that slow both the action and the story. Examples: paused, waited, watched, listened, looked, thought (in the context of just "thinking" as opposed to relaying the actual thoughts), considered (same), contemplated (same). I bet you can come up with more.
2. Meaningless time descriptors. Do these really add anything? "For a moment," "for awhile," "for some time," "for a beat," "for what seemed like forever," "endless/endlessly," "interminable." Often number 1 above is combined with number two. "He waited for some time" or "he paused for a moment."
3. Actions that are too detailed. In my critique group we call this "walking the dog." Unless the minute details are important, write "I took the dog for a walk" rather than "I got out the leash. I put it on the dog. I opened the front door. I closed the door behind me. I started walking." Etc. What actions can your reader infer so that he can get to the meat of your story? Even the simple flip of a switch by a character can slow things down if you don't need it. 
4. Double-dipping. Once you describe something in detail, don't do it again. You can use a keyword to remind the reader--i.e. "the glowing orb," but otherwise assume the reader got it the first time.

First Page Entry

Just got a few more today, so the game continues...

Tina stepped gingerly out of her shower and into the automatic dryer where jets of hot air also dried off her long, auburn hair to their natural curl. The atomizer added both a body spray and deodorant, further soothing her stressed and bone tired soul. It contributed to a not unexpected drowsiness after three weeks of intensive duties as border rider in Orloman, her small country's western reaches.

That time aboard her steed, a spirited female Dacer which she'd named Frida, an 18-hand, four-legged beast best described as a wonderful cross between an ancient equine and a Mandosarian water walker, while uneventful, was nonetheless draining from the onset of an early winter. During her duty rotation, she had had nothing for food but field rations, washed down by sips from flagons of Bersalean fortified red mead. Her mostly gentle mount was content with Chilicoot grass and the brackish water so abundant... until it froze.

For the last two days, after the mead was gone, she'd used the portable heating/filtration system to prepare water for herself and Frida.

With nowhere to sleep on the frozen ground, she had dozed fitfully in the saddle, while her steed caught some shuteye, from the light of dawn to early afternoon.

On the face of it, there's nothing overtly wrong with the writing. A few minor things tripped me up, nothing that a detailed edit couldn't fix. I do, though, notice the adjectives and adverbs: 30 or so. Out of 200 words that's 15% and sometimes they seem to replace weak verbs or almost repeat the idea best expressed by the verb--dozed fitfully, for example. Some of the more specific modifiers really work for the story, though, like the description of the Dacer. The rest--like long, auburn hair and not unexpected seem to bog it down.

As this is basically a tired someone getting out of the shower leading into backstory, this writer might consider using front page real estate more effectively by cutting modifiers (leaving more room for important ideas expressed by way of nouns and mostly verbs-action) and maybe even cutting this scene in order to get to the problem and to better show off your character. Remember, we're meeting your protag for the first time. I don't learn much about her or her situation but that she's tired from border riding and that she's got long, auburn hair.

However, I'm curious about several juxtapositions: the ordinary name Tina which indicates we're on Earth, dealing with an Earthling, or a descendant thereof; the shower, automatic dryer, and atomizer indicates some level of technology; that she rides a Dacer (creative to come up with a new animal!) in her job as a border rider (I'm guessing that's some sort of guard); the ancient equine (indicating we're in the future); "field rations" maybe a military mindset?; the wine lending an air of medievalesque fantasy, which I enjoy. These elements combine to make me want to read on. But frankly, if I had to continue to wade through unnecessary modifiers, I'd probably reject it.

A note: this is my subjective style thing. My personal style is pretty plain. As I grow as a reader and a writer, my preferences lean toward plainer writing. This doesn't mean all modifiers are wrong or that I never use or appreciate them. But to me they must be essential. Other editors may not feel the same way.

Thanks for having the guts to put your stuff out there! I hope this game is helping writers learn and think more about short story writing.

Feel free to comment in the thread. Discussions, and especially disagreements, are the best way to learn even more.

Writing on Reading: Litany of the Long Sun

Don't you love it when you find a new book to love? Last week I plowed through Gene Wolfe's Litany of the Long Sun (which is actually the first half of a longer novel called The Book of the Long Sun.) I had not picked up a Wolfe novel before because I was not crazy about his Nebula and Locus award-winning story, "The Death of Dr. Island." Now I'm sure glad I gave him another chance. Litany is science fiction that in many ways reads more like a fantasy. It takes place in a single world where advanced technology is more of a valued relic than a commodity. The protagonist is a parish priest who, up to the events in the story, lived a very simple and rudimentary life. The priest in an incredibly likable character who struggles through moral dilemmas and physical threats in a way that is both admirable and believable. As the plot unfolds, Wolfe makes surprising connections between events and reveals the secrets of the world. He is a master of foreshadowing and of taking seemingly insignificant events and making them huge.

As it turns out, Wolfe is a prolific writer. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of his books as soon as I can get my hands on them.

aaaand another...

Worms

Cameron tapped out a few more words and then paused to adjust the beam. He chose a large bold font for the header: Conclusion. He took a deep breath and then tapped the next two paragraphs without pause.

Done. He turned off the beam and leaned foward onto the desk, resting his forehead on his interlocked hands. It was another half an hour before he could leave: not enough time to start up anything new but too much time to sit staring at his desk. George walking into his office was almost a relief.

"Check this out, you'll love it," he said, pulling over a chair and sitting next to his desk. Cameron's relief at the distraction was shortlived as the white wall was covered with young barely clad girls twisting and gyrating in tandem. BGK was pretty liberal as far as big
business went but this definitely was beyond the occasional personal use of the net that might get ignored.

"The hell, George?" Cameron stood and waved his hand to cancel the scene.

"Wait, look. It's approved." Sure enough, it had a green tick in the corner, marking it as approved for standard office access. "There's no text so nothing for the admins to spot." George licked his lips. "S'long as everyone keeps it quiet, we can have a wee look when we're stuck at work." One small blonde girl, with big, blue, innocent eyes that made
Cameron feel dirty even looking from afar, shook her shoulders and then minced her way off to the side.

"See that?" George beamed. "Someone's just paid for some one-on-one attention. She's gone off to a private cam. It's real girls, doing real dances. Isn't that hot?"

"Yeah, hot." Cameron began packing up his stuff. By the time he got rid of George, it'd be time to go.

"Check it out, Cam. How can you resist?" His face was flushed.

Cameron realised that he'd been specifically targetted as having the biggest white space. "Did you get those figures from the Kaymar project?" Usually the fastest way to shut George up was to mention work but he was too busy leering at the pixels on the wall.

"Yeah, uh, 50 year return, sociographically sound, one environmentalist worried about some worms, don't think it'll be a biggie." He rattled off the data without bothering to look away from the screen.

There are some issues. Everyone should get their own paragraph, for one. Tag all dialogue with names early on so we stupid readers can keep track of the characters we've just met. Compound sentences separated by a conjunction need a comma. "Beam" threw me, but I was willing to go with it because I'm hoping its a speculative element. "White space" also threw me--why not say "white screen" or "white wall"? Also, that's classic passive structure. Switch that around to say something more like: Cameron realized George had specifically targeted him because his big white wall made a perfect spot to project the dancers. That's still rough, but you get what I'm trying to do.

In general, I like this. There's tension between the two players and Cam being slightly victimized by his lurid coworker helps with the sympathy factor. I'm guessing by the title that the Kaymar project will be the story problem, and since I have no idea what "worms" means (Like DUNE-sized or the intestinal variety or what?) (And, btw, it's a GOOD thing that I'm wondering.)

If they're as different as I suspect, then the story relies on speculative elements, so that's a major plus. I'm curious enough to keep reading.

Another Entry

Our American readership get enough to eat? Well, loosen your belt and set a spell, cuz we got ourselves another entry...

Jun Kawasaki's Dead Girlfriend

Unlike current-gen hentai girls, Saigon Sweet, version 1.0, hadn't been created for sexual gratification. In fact, her programming had, for the most part, consisted of emotion-based relationship features.

Share this tidbit with a member of the general public and they would most likely express surprise that Saigon Sweet, the wonderful bedroom companion for the everyman, busyman and just-became-a-man (or so her marketing slogan goes) once was more best friend than bed friend.

Attempt to enlighten a Saigon Sweet fanboy with the same piece of information and he'd roll his eyes at your audacity to impart well-known, historical S-squared knowledge to a devotee, then, with a knowing smirk, divulge the true origins of the hentai girl lay not
with Ryuu Nakamura but Jun Kawasaki.

Thoroughly distraught after his girlfriend died in a car crash during a native land visit to Japan, Jun Kawasaki, a twenty year old University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign mechanical engineering major, vowed to exact the most cruel and unusual punishment he could imagineupon himself.

And he had more than enough reason; he had been operating the vehicle at the time of the crash. However, Jun Kawasaki's guilt was less aboutdriver error and more about the last act his girlfriend had committed just before her death: fellatio.


This is another Sex In The New Millennium piece, of which I see a regularly. As I said before, though, that's not a bad thing. Just know that your piece must be pretty original to stand out above the others.

At first impression, I would suggest this writer streamline the style. These sentences are overwritten. I had to read some of them twice. (Granted, I'm moving slow as a slug after this last round of leftovers.)

Two points on overwriting. Remember, I'm new to your world and already on shaky ground. Make it as easy as possible for me to get caught up. These ideas are not complicated, so I'm wondering why I have to work so hard to get at them. Also, lengthy, involved writing feels self-important when the idea could be expressed in simpler terms. (And it almost always can be expressed in simpler terms. This is fiction, not brain surgery.) Ditto, second person usage. I mostly can't stand that in fiction. Suddenly the author is lecturing me. Listen, I got a mother already. She's even visiting right now, so I really don't need some author to tell me what for. (I'm kidding.) (Mostly. My mom actually is here. Hi Mom!)

For example,

Attempt to enlighten a Saigon Sweet fanboy with the same piece of information and he'd roll his eyes at your audacity to impart well-known, historical S-squared knowledge to a devotee, then, with a knowing smirk, divulge the true origins of the hentai girl lay not with Ryuu Nakamura but Jun Kawasaki.

could be:

Any Saigon Sweet fanboy knew the origins of the hentai girl lay not with Ryuu Nakamura, but Jun Kawasaki.

Y'all remember diagramming sentences? No? Youth is wasted on the young. Anyway, you should be able to diagram your own sentences. If you can't, then simplify them. And, since you're now looking for words to cut, watch out for qualifiers, like "in fact," and adverbs like "thoroughly." These clutter words bury the strong verb usage. Let the verb carry the sentence.

I really like the lingo: S-squared, Saigon Sweet, fanboy, and hentai girl, especially in juxtaposition with the Chicago reference (I grew up there) . Dropping lingo and slang like that makes me feel like I'm entering a different world filled with interesting things and concepts. BUT, I've got no idea what this story is about, because these graphs are backstory. Who's the protag and what is their problem? If I don't find it in the first two hundred words, then I should at least have the idea that it's coming. Like. Very. Soon.

This would probably earn a second page cuz I like sexual robotics as well as anybody, but unless the style streamlined or the premise was really creative and different, I'd pass.

Thanks for playing! Remember, tell your friends. Heck, tell your enemies! Lets rev this up!

Writing on Reading: The Ant King and Other Stories

I picked up The Ant King and Other Stories by Benjamin Rosenbaum on the web. The author released the book under a creative commons license through Small Beer Press. Rosenbaum is a talented short story writer whose speculative stories reflect a postmodern/surreal style similar to slipstream author (and Small Beer Press co-founder) Kelly Link. While not all of Rosenbaum's stories resonated with me, I found many of them enjoyable and interesting. For example, the title story, "The Ant King: A California Fairy Tale" is packed with an entertaining variety of characters and events that keeps you guessing until the end. It also includes some interesting commentaries on various trends in modern society. 

I recommend The Ant King and Other Stories to those who like off-beat urban fantasy and those who wish to study well-crafted short stories. 

entry #3

Number Three!

*In the late 20th century came the internet. From the internet was born
"Chat." And Chat led to cybering, to online sex between parties who sat at
home in their comfortable chairs and typed reciprocal erotica and porn to
each other on their computers.*

*In the early 21st century Chat became virtual reality. Chatters plugged
directly into their HEVE--home electronic video entertainment
interface--created characters from the data streams, and inhabited virtual
bodies in a virtual world. The online sex was better. Sometimes when
people were locked virtual skin to virtual skin they could almost forget
that they weren't actually exchanging bodily fluids.*

*By the mid 21st century mundane reality was still boring, but virtual
reality was no longer good enough. *

--- from "Sex: The New Story of an Old Act."



There were two vampires, a shapeshifter in semi-human form, a sword-witch, a
demon named Baell, and a dozen sluts of various persuasions and genders on
the battlements when Boone came on. And the low sky was like ice from the
vac-shield, a half solid, shifting weave of thin light that kept black space
away from the surface of the Sea of Tranquility.


Just a mention on formatting. Some people use * to designate italics. I had a rant on my failing vision and exhaustion all prepared, but in the interest of saving time: which is easier for you to see? *Italics* or Italics? Might be email formatting in this case, but I do see it in regular submissions.

With the quote, you've just started a story with what is essentially backstory. I think this history/set up could be relatively easy to show via action, and you want to start a story where the story starts. Savvy? Additionally, the writing in the excerpt and the setting premise are not quite special enough to grab me. I see various forms of internet/future sex in stories fairly often. I'm not saying don't use it, though, because those stories can be interesting.

If the story is well-done and makes it past the vote, I'd probably ditch the quote in editing. Problem is, during voting we tend to pick the stories that: A. are so great we don't care how much work they require, or, even better, B. are great and also need the least amount of work. (We're editors. We're lazy. Just ask Gremlin.)

Things do take a turn for the better once the story proper starts. We got a fun cast of characters and setting details: a guy named Boone (which, since he's named, I'm assuming is the MC) and they're on battlements. Cool. Maybe they're under siege or at war, so it sets up conflict. I like the "dozen sluts of various persuasions" because it feels a bit like a slur, and that shows me Boone's bent. Not sure why the next sentence starts with a conjunction. It doesn't seem connected to the previous, though the details are interesting and reinforces the futuristic sci-fi. I don't have an entirely clear picture of the surroundings, but in the first graph, that's okay. This author also shows he might be able to write in this graph, undoing the damage done with the quote. I'm willing to read on to find out more.

To show you I'm not damning all quotes: my latest short story starts with a short quote from Roman times. But see my issue with the quote? It takes up a lot of real estate, so it must really count. I don't believe that's the case for this one.

I don't want to leave you with the impression that I only read the first page of submissions. I tend to read 3 pages. If it's promising, I skip to the end to see how that works before reading on. (It's not entirely true. Occasionally I read all the way through--forgetting my method--and that bodes well for a story. I will advocate that story.) But I know for a fact that many editors do only read the first page. Some book editors and agents only read the first page. So the first page is important stuff, yo.

I've got more entries, but I'm out of town for a few days, so I'll do another when I return. More pages please! Talk this up!